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> Inazuma no Tenshi (The Lightning Angel), A spin-off story from Gunma34's story.
Paladinoras
Posted: Oct 31 2009, 01:12 AM
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Been real busy... Chapter 11 is on the works.
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Paladinoras
Posted: Nov 12 2009, 02:50 AM
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Here it is.. Chapter 11

Chapter 11
Light and Darkness


“B-b-brother??!!!” Raymond spluttered as he heard Kallen say those words. “You can’t be talking about..about…HIM?” Raymond said, pointing at his rival, who looked at him venomously. “You know of him, Kallen?” he questioned Kallen, who was standing beside Raymond, her arms crossed across her chest. “Well, yeah, with a car like that, he is kinda hard to miss on the Wangan strip, you know.” Kallen then turned towards Raymond. “Sides, what do you think I’ve been doing all day?” said Kallen, grinning. Raymond could feel his face heating up, and quickly looked away, evading her gaze. “What do you say we all go to a cafe or something? This is a bad place to have a conversation in.” Kallen offered. “I’m cool with that.” Raymond replied, looking at the stars above him. Kallen turned to her brother. “What about you, nii-san?” The man looked at Kallen, and sighed loudly. “Fine, I guess I’ll tag along with you kids for a while…” he muttered.

15 minutes later…

Persephone Cafe, Outskirts of Wangan, 11:45 PM

The three racers sat around a small circular table, which was filled with assorted cakes and drinks, ranging from Kallen’s brother’s black coffee to Kallen’s strawberry milkshake. Raymond looked at the two, darting his eyes from one to the other.

“I can sort of see the family resemblance…but they are so different,” he thought to himself. “But…the way they take corners…and their lines, they are nearly identical.”

“So, Kallen, how did you meet Blondie over there?” Kallen’s brother questioned her. “Oh come on, brother, be more mature, just because he nearly beat you in your favourite track, don’t think of him in a bad way.” Kallen responded, annoyed at her brother. “Oh yeah, Raymond, by the way, my brother’s name is Naoto Kouzuki, also known as the Dark Prince of Hakone.” Raymond’s eyes widened at that statement. “H-h-h-HE is the Dark Prince of Hakone???!!!” said Raymond, incredulous. “Why do you look so surprised? What, I’m not good enough for you? Hmph! I’ll tell you something…” Before Naoto could finish his sentence, Kallen quickly interrupted him. “As you can see, he’s not very sociable, Raymond-kun, so bear with him for a while” Kallen told Raymond. The blonde racer merely shrugged, and sipped on his coffee. “Well…this is gonna be awkward.” Kallen thought to herself.

And indeed it was, with Raymond and Naoto engaging in a staredown, each looking at the other indignantly, not saying a word. To Kallen, who was sitting between the two people he cared for, the silence was almost unbearable. Everytime she tried to strike up a conversation, either Raymond or Naoto would give a one-word, uncaring answer, and continue staring at each other. The atmosphere was electric; it was obvious that these two were not meant to get along.

“I’m leaving. This is pointless.” Naoto finally said, rising from his seat and walked towards the door, leaving Raymond and Kallen alone at the table. “Tsch, I bet he is a social outcast.” Raymond sneered, mocking him. “Don’t talk about my brother like that!” Kallen scolded Raymond, looking at him directly in the eyes.

“It’s hardly my fault, he couldn’t accept that he beat me on a technicality!” Raymond argued.
“But he did beat you now, didn’t he?”
“Luck!!”
“We both know there is no such thing as luck in a street race. It’s either you win or you don’t.”
“Oh, defending your brother, now are you?? You weren’t even THERE!”
“It’s a pretty simple equation here, Raymond-kun, my brother is better than me…and you can’t even beat me, so that means my brother is better than you.”
“It was in bloody Hakone!!”
“A racer gotta be good at all tracks. No point being a one-track racer.”
“Fine, BE THAT WAY!” Raymond yelled at Kallen, standing up and angrily stormed out of the café, slamming the door behind him. Kallen sighed, looking at her drink pensively as the sound of Raymond’s Ferrari can be heard throughout the café, as it blasts through the café’s exit…

Meanwhile…

Chihiro, Raymond’s faithful secretary was knee-deep in unfinished paperwork, which means yet another lat e night doing them to cover her boss from getting fired by his dad. Business has been booming in Raymond’s shop, due to the recent release of a street-racing themed film called The Fast and The Furious. Many Wangan racers, well, ricers, to be exact, have come to the shop looking for body kits, oversized rims, underside neons, and of course, incredibly flashy and colorful decals and stickers to decorate their car with. Needless to say, all of those items are all unnecessary and useless in a real race, and Raymond personally detests people who buy them, but business must go on, and so he reluctantly puts them up for sale in his tuning house.

And they are selling like hotcakes.

Over the past few weeks, the Speed Addiction tuning house has received more orders for parts compared to the amount of orders they received from the past three months combined. Needless to say, the shop is earning a substantial amount of money, but the absurd amount of orders also leaves behind a gigantic amount of paperwork which requires validation and authentication. And with his boss being out all day, doing something which Chihiro strongly disapproves of, that leaves the efficient secretary to do all of the paperwork by herself yet again. Raymond probably handles all the unfinished paperwork in his office once every 2 months if Chihiro is lucky, and that simply won’t do with the amount of orders the shop is receiving.

After reading through some 40-odd orders for body kits, Chihiro took off her glasses and yawned. She looked around the empty office, sighing. “Wouldn’t kill him to come to his office once every blue moon, instead of lurking in Harajuku chasing after some chick.” Chihiro grumbled. “I mean, he is turning 20 soon! He has got to learn some responsibility, I can’t always do this for him!” Despite all of her complaints, however, the emotion Chihiro is feeling is neither anger over having to do huge amounts of work, nor is it irritation over Raymond’s glaring lack of attendance. She is used to both. The emotion is jealousy.

When she heard the news that Raymond was going out on an apparent date with some girl he met on the Wangan strip, Chihiro was fuming. She didn’t exactly know why, after all, her boss is at an age where he very well should be dating, and it is quite rare to see him do something non-car related, so Chihiro should be glad instead of angry. But she’s not, not even close. She knows that probably, nothing can ever happen between her and Raymond, but she can’t let go. No matter how she tries to bury her feelings for her young workmate, it always resurfaces, and this time, it’s not going to fade so easily.

It’s time for Chihiro to pay Raymond a visit at his natural habitat, the Wangan Expressway.

This post has been edited by Paladinoras on Nov 12 2009, 02:52 AM
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Paladinoras
Posted: Dec 3 2009, 08:41 AM
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Sorry...Chapter 13 is in the works. A long way to go though.
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Gunma's 34
Posted: Dec 6 2009, 07:30 PM
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what about Chapter 12?
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Paladinoras
Posted: Dec 8 2009, 01:12 AM
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QUOTE (Gunma's 34 @ Dec 6 2009, 07:30 PM)
what about Chapter 12?

Good point, I forgot to post that. Damn finals are making my head spin.
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R_E_X
Posted: Dec 8 2009, 02:33 AM
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Oh yeah... which university are you in, Raymond? The ones with finals as I know is Untar, and UPH starting from next week
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Paladinoras
Posted: Dec 8 2009, 04:28 AM
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QUOTE (R_E_X @ 1 hour, 55 minutes ago)
Oh yeah... which university are you in, Raymond? The ones with finals as I know is Untar, and UPH starting from next week

I am 16.. If I am in Uni, I'll be a frigging genious. Hahaha

I am currently at INTI College.
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R_E_X
Posted: Dec 9 2009, 03:35 AM
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I thought you're at Untar or UPH... wakwkwkwk
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Paladinoras
Posted: Dec 9 2009, 03:51 AM
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QUOTE (R_E_X @ 16 minutes, 29 seconds ago)
I thought you're at Untar or UPH... wakwkwkwk

Next year. :P
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Paladinoras
Posted: Dec 17 2009, 12:41 AM
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My god...this story is really falling behind of schedule..

I am currently out of ideas...so I am trying to get myself reinspired... Expect new chapters soon.

Damn writer's block. XD
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Paladinoras
Posted: Jan 24 2010, 11:49 PM
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Incredibly late, i know... Been over a month, OMG, didn't even realize it..

Well, here's to chapter 12

Chapter 12
An Unexpected Meeting
Wangan Expressway, June 28th, 11:45 PM

A blood red Nissan Silvia S15 dashed down the Wangan strip, its SR20DETT engine making a fearsome noise as it barrels down the Wangan strip at nearly 298 km/h, a rather astronomical speed for an S15. Inside the car, a beautiful Japanese woman was handling the car easily, unafraid of breaking the 300km/h speed barrier, unlike most hashiriyas out there. But none of that concerns her, she only has one target in mind, and he is proving to be an elusive catch. ..

Further down the strip, a white Ferrari 550 Maranello, bone stock, except for a rollcage underneath the chassis, was engaged in a heated three-way battle against a blue Mazda RX-7 and a metallic black Nissan Skyline R32 S-Tune, modified to perfection by Raymond’s own tuning house. “Damn, Kazuhiko tuned his FD well” Raymond muttered to himself as he shifted to 5th gear. The blue FD behind his FD has certainly transformed a great deal since the last time they met, equipped with a brand new and significantly more powerful turbine. And Kazuhiko loves every minute of it. “Should go up to 610HP now… I can keep up with Raymond’s Ferrari even on the Wangan strip” thought Kazuhiko. “Still lacking on top speed though” As both cars reached 300km/h, it is obvious that the Ferrari has a distinct advantage, its speed still increasing at a steady rate, while Kazuhiko’s FD has a hard time reaching 310km/h. The R32 S-Tune, however, was keeping up with the Ferrari easily, even outpacing it a little.

“679 horsepower at the wheels, a Garrett Twin Turbo kit equipped, HKS suspensions, Blitz Clutch and Transmission set, Nismo custom exhaust, and Volk CE28N rims equipped… That car is a magnificent beast… No wonder they call it Godzilla.” mused Kazuhiko as the R32 and the Ferrari pulls away from him. “This is as far as I can go, better be safe than sorry.”, Kazuhiko yelled to the walkie talkie in the seat beside him and quickly released his foot from the accelerator pedal, his car slowing down to a speed of 280km/h. The Ferrari and R32 however, have no intention of following after the FD.

“Faster…faster!” Raymond spluttered, shifting to 6th gear and watched on as the needle of his speedometer ran out of space and made a ticking noise as it hits against the bottom of the speedometer chamber. “Heh, even the Ferrari is not designed to run at this speed, huh…. Well, too late to stop now!” Raymond pressed on the accelerator pedal even harder and the R32 was gradually left behind, unable to keep up with the white 550 Maranello.

A police car was parked at the exit of the Hamazakibashi junction, the driver nearly falling asleep as cars slowly passed in front of him. The speed detector on the dashboard of the car was designed to inform the driver if anyone passed the 100km/h speed limit…and so far, it has not beeped even once. Nothing interesting ever happens here, thought the police officer. As if the heavens had heard of his complaint, a flash of white passed by his car, followed by a black ball of lightning. The speed detector in his dashboard went crazy, beeping wildly. The policeman looked at the LED display, which read 350km/h, in blue. He gulped. If he remembered correctly, the trainer at the traffic police academy had said that if the numbers were written in blue…that means there was an overflow error, which equates to the cars moving at a speed exceeding 350km/h. His eyes were wide open now, and the thought of chasing after the criminals crossed his mind…until he recollected that his patrol car can only reach 200km/h, at maximum. “Well, not much I can do about that then..” he muttered, then leaned back on his seat and went back to sleep.

Raymond’s run on the Wangan strip, in the meantime, ended as he stopped on the Daikoku Futo parking lot. The R32 S-tune followed soon after, its engine puffing out large quantities of smoke, barely being able to reach the parking lot, and broke down soon after it positioned itself beside Raymond’s Ferrari. The driver, a young 20 year old man with bleached, spiked up hair, stepped out of the car. “The car needs work, boss.” he managed to say in between his coughing fits. “Baka, you forced it to reach 337km/h, what do you expect??!!” Raymond retorted, his eyes staring straight at the driver. “Maybe you should refrain from joining me on my Wangan trips anymore, Keisuke.”

“What, what, what??? No WAYYYYY, I love the adrenaline rush, the feeling of going fast!! Don’t take that away from MEEE!!” the man apparently named Keisuke whined. Raymond gave a small grin and walked towards the R32. “Let’s see now....you blew the exhaust manifold, the carburetor looks messed up, and the intercooler exploded…..I’d say you messed up pretty bad.” Raymond said loudly as he walked around the car. “Well, it’s partially your fault, boss, if you hadn’t gone so fast, I wouldn’t need to push the car that hard!!” Keisuke argued. Raymond glared at him in response.

“And just when did I tell you to race me? Hmmm?” Raymond mockingly commented. “Ehh…uhhh….ne..ver?” Keisuke stammered as he realized the flaw of his whole argument. Shaking his head, Raymond spoke again. “I’ll let you off the hook this time… Bring the car back to the shop, tell Kazuhiko to fix it up again.” Keisuke nodded quickly in response and started the engine of R32 again, which seemed to protest as it spewed out a column of smoke once again. It soon gave up though, and the car slowly moved back into the Wangan expressway, heading to the Shinjuku district.

Just as Keisuke left, Kazuhiko and his blue FD entered the parking lot and parked beside Raymond’s Ferrari as well. “What took you so long?” Raymond said to Kazuhiko as soon as he stepped out of his vehicle, a cocky grin plastered across his face. “Heh, high-end top speed is still lacking, as you can see. The FD is not built for Wangan.” Kazuhiko answered calmly, unfazed by Raymond’s facial expression. “Anyways, how are you and Kouzuki?”

Raymond grimaced at the sound of her name. “Meh, we dated…had a fight, haven’t talked to her since.” He answered slowly. “Hahaha, oh my god, that is so rich, you had ONE SINGULAR date and you already fought?? Ahahaha” Kazuhiko laughed heartily.

“But come on now, didn’t you two meet each other on the Wangan strip?”
“Well...a few times, she flashed her headlights, but I just ignored her.”
“You certainly have a way with the ladies now, don’t you, Raymond-kun.”
“Oh, shut up, I don’t see you strutting around with a hot girlfriend”
“Well, true, but if I had one, I prolly would not break up with her after a single date.”
“I am not breaking up with her, we were never together in the first place!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. It was one date, but you two had something special, I can’t really explain it..” Kazuhiko mused, looking at Raymond with an insightful gaze. Raymond tried to come up with an argument, but failed to do so. Instead, he sighed audibly, looking at the night sky. “Yeah…we did, didn’t we” he murmured softly.

“It’s not polite to talk about someone behind their backs you know.” Suddenly, a voice spoke out. Raymond slowly turned around, and as expected, the graceful figure of Kallen Kouzuki was standing before him, looking at him straight in the eyes. “K-k-k-k-Kallen! How did you get here??” The visibly shocked Raymond asked her, stuttering most of the words. “How else do you think, baka, with a car of course!” she retorted playfully, emphasizing on the word baka. Kazuhiko sighed, and stepped into his FD. “You two are perfect idiots, you complete each other.” said Kazuhiko, in a very venomously sarcastic tone. Not wasting another minute, Kazuhiko’s FD sprinted out of the parking lot and into the Wangan strip yet again.

Which leaves Raymond Yamazaki at the mercy of Kallen.
Yet again.
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Gunma's 34
Posted: Jan 26 2010, 09:38 PM
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Well, it's never too late to update. Don't tell me that S15 girl is Kallen? or is it another female driver out to get Raymond? DO keep updating... I'm slowing down on mine as I am working on Supidon no Densetsu V intro video and Supido no Densetsu Prologue III the video series.
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Paladinoras
Posted: Jan 27 2010, 05:18 AM
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QUOTE (Gunma's 34 @ 7 hours, 40 minutes ago)
Well, it's never too late to update. Don't tell me that S15 girl is Kallen? or is it another female driver out to get Raymond? DO keep updating... I'm slowing down on mine as I am working on Supidon no Densetsu V intro video and Supido no Densetsu Prologue III the video series.

Another female. Kallen is faithful with her R. Sides, I am not so predictable.

I pretty much implied who it was though..

Hint: Chapter 11 last sentence. XD

And yeah, schoolwork is decreasing, so I have time to work on this story.
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Paladinoras
Posted: Feb 28 2010, 07:04 AM
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I can't believe that it has been over a month since I last posted a chapter.

Now, it's not that I am uninterested in continuing this project, it's just that I have been running out of ideas lately...and that I have pretty much been absorbed in another story I have been writing.

Nevertheless...Chapter 13 is on the works.
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Gunma's 34
Posted: Feb 28 2010, 07:38 PM
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Well, if you need any ideas, then you could always ask me. I'm busy with a movie of the story as well so I am putting the final chapters of Akiyama Chronicles, Epilogue, on hold; so is my SPeed Legend Z story at idforums. I just need to find a decent enough video editing software that supports MP4, MPEG, and PNG files; allowing me to change the size of the pictures in the project, multiple layering (of more than 2 audio, and video files of each), working transitions and DOESN'T DO BUILD ERRORS!! *cough*EditSTudio*cough*; the last one I used was good enough not until the last sentence I just posted. :(
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Paladinoras
Posted: Feb 28 2010, 10:24 PM
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Ahaha, well, thanks, but it's not that I don't have any ideas...I am just confused on how to arrange them! XD

And uhh, if you want to edit videos and such, I suggest Adobe Premiere, or Vegas movie editor.
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Gunma's 34
Posted: Mar 1 2010, 04:56 PM
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Thanks for the options but I have downloaded the perfect program that does the job perfectly!! MAGIX MOVIE EDIT PRO 15 PLUS v 8.0.5.8 (C2)!! It does what MediaChance could do but better and NO BUILD ERRORS!!! XDDDDDDDD
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Paladinoras
Posted: Oct 7 2011, 09:55 AM
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So yeah, it's been so unnaturally long. In fact I won't be surprised if most people forgot about this already, but meh, I actually do plan on continuing the story now. I've been absolutely absorbed in another story so truth be told, this one is left on the wayside. Plus, I kinda lost my passion for Wangan for a bit there, and I couldn't be bothered to continue this story.

However, now that I re-read everything I have written here...it's pretty obvious that my writing skill was still very raw. I have improved tremendously, or so I hope, and I expect that whenever I do decide to continue this story, the chapter will be a great one.

TL;DR

The Lightning Angel is back b*tches.
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Gunma's 34
Posted: Oct 7 2011, 02:37 PM
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glad to hear that you're back and so is Yamazaki! I await more of his past life before AKiyama Chronicles! WOOT!
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cabbie
Posted: Oct 15 2011, 10:04 AM
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you should continue :) cos this idea is really same same but different. for now.
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Paladinoras
Posted: Nov 16 2011, 04:04 AM
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Wow, time certainly flies. I pretty much plan to rewrite everything, but I realized that I don't have that kind of time and will just be continuing where I left off. So yeah, expect Chapter 13 sometime in the near future, preferrably before Christmas.
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HyperSonic
Posted: Mar 19 2012, 08:41 AM
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guys, I am quite new in this forum. though I have written a fanfic myself (I am planning to post it here) I just finished reading some of the things posted here, and I wanted to comment on the reader's point of view, NOT AS A WRITER.
I think this story, is so far my favorite, and yet, there are things like redundancy that I can't help but notice. and there is this we writers put the engine model or something. well, on other readers that do not know anything on automechanics engine models would just be a couple of random number and jumbled letters. engine model won't mean anything to them. just a thought.
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Kenzz
Posted: Mar 19 2012, 08:44 AM
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i wanan b da berry best
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QUOTE (HyperSonic @ Today, 2:41 AM)
guys, I am quite new in this forum. though I have written a fanfic myself (I am planning to post it here) I just finished reading some of the things posted here, and I wanted to comment on the reader's point of view, NOT AS A WRITER.
I think this story, is so far my favorite, and yet, there are things like redundancy that I can't help but notice. and there is this we writers put the engine model or something. well, on other readers that do not know anything on automechanics engine models would just be a couple of random number and jumbled letters. engine model won't mean anything to them. just a thought.

I'm still practicing/ (trying to write better so it has atmosphere and plot instead of just emotional writing)

lol so have you read my road4? its a draft version here, it sucks i know.
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HyperSonic
Posted: Mar 20 2012, 02:49 AM
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Racers On A Desire 4? I read it, I can't say it sucks, it's just that it lacks a really nice plot... Are you having fun writing these kinds of stuffs?, because if you do I won't discourage you. go on with your style. You will improve, there's no doubt about that. By the way, if I will have time to post my own fanfic here, will you review it too just like what I do to your works, I really want to know what other people think of my work, and please be honest with your comments.
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Gunma's 34
Posted: Sep 26 2014, 06:23 PM
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(920 days old) Holy mother of backlog...

The only reason I'm re-reading this + bumping it is how I wished there was a continuation to Raymond's story.

Paladinoras, if you're reading this, I sure hope you are still thinking of closing Raymond's chapter.
Plus, I'm using it for the Supido no Densetsu Fujin Wiki I'm working on for Raymond's story.
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