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> "A moment of limbo", A short story I wrote in october 2012
Whitzwolf
Posted: Jan 26 2013, 09:12 AM
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Yahallo! \^o^
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When I wrote this my emotions were running very high, I hope you can get maybe a little sense of what I wrote, it's now hard for myself to relate again, I'm a spur of the moment writer :)

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The rain was thick. The distance blurred behind a wall of precipitation. My path had closed, there was no way forward. Nothing had prepared me for the emotions of this, and nothing could. And so I sat, sat on the drenched grass, hidden in my head, a world of its own.

I woke up cold. The most unusual dream fading away from my memory, my brain too slow to question why. I opened by curtains, only to be blinded by the morning light.Blinded.This is how I often felt, unable to see what was coming for me. It was starting to condition me, to distort what I know, to be afraid. The conspiracies stacked up in my head, suddenly cleansed momentarily when steaming hot water hit it. There are some hard problems that donít take long to answer, and some easy that take forever. Staying sane was the goal. But now I'm not sure what sane is. The demon in all of us wants to escape, to wreak havoc. The borderline is us, we control it.

I am oblivious to the modern world. All that passes around me, soulless people running around. They do not know or care of me. But I wouldn't have it any other way. My visions have ceased for now, but they will return soon. Picked up some aspirin to deal with the after migraine. My angel, my singing satellite was with me today. Her presence always alleviates the pain, but not forever. Our intricate connection was really more born out of necessity. I used to be a guitarist, but those days have long passed now. We still see each other, she knows why. I would otherwise be in a constant downward spiral, unable to escape. The coffee wasn't great but I appreciated it anyway.

I looked out into the water from the riverside, it was murky, never to be restored to its former glory, but its memory still there. A single, wilted petal fell from a tree. This is who I am, slowly falling apart.I used to have another close friend, but he left for the army, solid that his patriotic effort would contribute to the well being of all, all but mine. As much a smart, young bright kid he was, his upbringing ultimately undermined him. Of all the things we did together he still decided to leave.He was blinded too, just like I am now.The past creeps up on you, you cannot see it coming, it strikes at the utmost unforgiving time. I fell to a slumber on the grass.

Every part of my body was burning. There was a single door, made out of the same mood the room was like. A green hue came through one window, and a blue through the other. The chair I was sitting in was no longer comfortable. All of the cabinets had been locked shut. I raised myself and stumbled towards the window and peered out.

I was here again...


The acrid smell had now penetrated my nose, a grim reminder. The paintings faded, the door patched up, this was not a pleasant place for some, but yet a safe-haven for others. I was standing still but it felt as if the room was spinning a bit.
"This cannot be good," I whispered to myself. The darkness was everywhere, I felt my way along the hall, floorboards creaking. The staircase before me had disappeared below, the only way was up. The headache was returning, the pain more intense than ever. As I opened the door at the top of the staircase I was blasted with a wave of heat so intense I coughed for the air was dry.
Whatever was below me I could not see, there was nothing to see, only the darkness itself. With one last step I reached the first aid box by the radio tower wall. But I was overcome, the cabinet was empty, just like the world below...

Someone was shaking me, I could feel it. I could not open my eyes. But I knew who it was. Just like from above, my angel comes to rescue me.
But before I can think about her a sharp jabbing pain invades my right arm. It does not feel warm, therefore I must not be injured. I try to speak."I hope we are in a dark place, I donít think my eyes can bear to be blinded once more," With a little cough and splutter I finish my sentence.
"Don't worry, I've got you, you will be able to see, give yourself as much time as you need, I'm not going anywhere."
That sweet beautiful voice filled my me with inexplicable happiness, the tears in my shut eyes were flooding my cheeks. I was overcome once again...



Voices. I hear voices close by. I do not recognise them. I suddenly feel afraid. I had to try open my eyes, to awaken from this darkness. Pushing myself up, I finally opened my eyes, slowly. Each little beam of light painful to my eyes, the world before me slowly came into focus. She was asleep in a leather chair across the room. A slight smile, the first in a very long time, grew on my face. My mouth was dry but I did not trust the glass of water on the table. Creeping over to the bathroom I turned the tap on. Ice cold water hit my hands, I retracted for a second before washing them.
The evening had sprung and people were about. The smell of coffee filled the air, reminded me I hadn't returned the favour however long ago, my sense of time long lost.

The headaches returned again, I began to lose my focus on what was in front of me. My thoughts were spiralling out of control. A flashback to the past. The mistakes I had made, the pain I had endured, the lessons I learned. I was telling myself something. There was still a lot ahead of me, many things to experience, the good side of life. I need not be in this state of mind.
The coffee in front of me was cold. I must have been here for a while. The bitterness was perfect for the mood I was in, awakening my senses, sharpening my brain. It was time to act I decided. Things could and needed to get done. I have a life to live.
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Myth_21
Posted: Feb 4 2013, 10:09 PM
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SRS'ly SRS
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I like it, very Carver-esque.
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RB33
Posted: Feb 5 2013, 02:09 AM
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@whitzwolf
Very descriptive... gives the reader a feeling of the confusion that you are going through.
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Antares
Posted: Feb 5 2013, 03:56 AM
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ē MR-S ē
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What amazes me here is how easily I can put myself in the scenario and in my mind, I can feel what you were going through. The attention to detail is well placed, and the whole piece is well written too.

I like it. :)
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Whitzwolf
Posted: Feb 5 2013, 04:11 AM
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Yahallo! \^o^
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Was going through guys :lol:
This part of my life has past :)

And yes I love writing descriptively ^^
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Whitzwolf
Posted: Feb 16 2013, 11:38 PM
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Yahallo! \^o^
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Which is how my racing fiction will be like... in a way
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markjonson
Posted: Feb 18 2015, 11:57 PM
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It was so much descriptive. It feels like a reader and can feel what you are going through. :)
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