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> Shutokou no Densetsu
RollingGuy
Posted: Feb 17 2013, 11:13 AM
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You may know me as Melancholy/Dejected Angel or Ichi or Sunrize or whatever. I'm forgetful sorry.

So I was into pixel cars back then and I was a member in a Wangan only pixel RPG. We had a role playing and fan fiction area and I tried to write there. That was a few years back. Give or take 6 years ago.

Anyway, in my opinion, it was pretty good but I decided to rewrite the whole thing since not a lot made sense and my English skills aren't very good. It isn't my native tongue. So here goes the prologue.

Chapter I
December 19, 20XX - 2 A.M.
Kuroe Residence, Kasumigaseki Tokyo

A mess of long brown hair littered across almost a third of the bed. A girl in her mid teens quietly slumbered in her room. She was wrapped in a thick comforter getting as much warmth as she possibly could. Having the air conditioner maxed didn't help one bit.

"Nng... Cold..", the teen mumbled. "Mom.. Turn off the A/C...", she added cutely. Peeking through heavy eyelids, she scanned the dark room looking for her mother's silhouette that should have been next to her.

Realizing that she was alone, she took a quick glance at the digital clock next to her bed. 2 AM it says in a bright red font. She felt a chill run down her spine and she couldn't help but feel like something bad would be happening soon.

Shrugging it off as the cold, she continued her previous train of thought where her mother could have gone. 'Bathroom maybe?', she guessed. With that thought, she half forced, half dragged herself out of the bed and turned off the air conditioner before walking back and dropping herself onto the soft mattress. Promptly falling asleep.

She would soon find out how right she was.

- L I N E B R E A K -

The expressway neared empty tonight. With little hazards and police having long since forgotten, the shutokou have slowly transformed into a circuit for street racers young and old alike. Battle for supremacy. Between teams. Between rivals. It didn't matter. The re-emergence of this long run game had attracted much more than simple racers.

The veterans run for the honor. The legacy and legend passed down from one another. In hopes of running with the emperor of the highway.

Some race for fun. The adrenaline and the rush you get from the races, enough to fuel you for the entire night.

Some race for the fame. It isn't a secret how much exposure you get nowadays from the underground racing scene. Some say there are even sponsors going undercover to scout new drivers.

Some race to wreak havoc. With no police that could match up to their speed, they have no one but themselves to hold them back from causing chaos.

Some race because they have nothing else left. Addicted. The sense of speed like drugs to them.

One such woman, Setsuko Kuroe was among those.

Earlier tonight, a team had messaged her that some rowdy hashiriyas were tearing across the inner circular route or C1. For her, that simple message said a lot. It was time she put her battle gear on again and show everyone else who exactly ruled these streets. Just like seventeen years ago.

She looked to her daughter who was sleeping next to her, contemplating whether or not to wake her up. She decided against it and leaned to kiss her on the cheek. Whispering a quick good bye before changing into some decent clothes before grabbing her keys.

Twirling it in her hands and with a whistle of a long forgotten tune, she was gone.

-END CHAPTER-

Comments, some help would be nice. This would be where I'll gauge if I'll continue this little pet project or not. I'm not very good with battles and technical tidbits so I really need a beta reader to help me with those.

I have the second one ready but I need a beta reader for the battle. If you guys still want it, just say so.

This post has been edited by RollingGuy on Feb 17 2013, 11:19 AM
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Antares
Posted: Feb 17 2013, 01:06 PM
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Mama Racer? I'm really interested in this concept, and if it's okay, I can try and beta your work since I'm really looking forward to the battle chapter. smile.gif
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RollingGuy
Posted: Feb 17 2013, 05:20 PM
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Not exactly. You'll see on the next chapter. After reading through everyone's fan fiction, I've decided to scrap the whole 'scrap yard demon car' thing.

Though the protagonist found her original car in a used car dealership, much like how Brian O'Connor (Paul Walker) found his used R34 in the prequel of 2 Fast 2 Furious.

Anyway, I scrapped that and came with a better idea. I'm not revealing anything yet since it'll spoil the next chapter though.

This post has been edited by RollingGuy on Feb 17 2013, 05:21 PM
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クロイ
Posted: Feb 17 2013, 07:08 PM
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Not exactly a lengthy chapter...but I like it nonetheless...despite the absence of cops or rather...the lack of role on it.

Regardless...writing a fanfic of Dejected Angel? Now that's a switch...

I won't beta you, but nonetheless, I'll read where this will lead to.
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Akiko
Posted: Feb 17 2013, 07:31 PM
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How many Densetsu series are there exactly? Not that I am complaining or anything but...couldn't there be more variety on story titles? blink.gif

I mean it's not that hard for writers to come up with a better name, right?

This post has been edited by Akiko on Feb 17 2013, 07:32 PM
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RollingGuy
Posted: Feb 17 2013, 08:08 PM
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Well, if I recall correctly, cops don't pursue racers that can outrun their factory spec patrol cars. Instead, they'd give them tickets when the camera catches their license plates.

That's why their plates are slanted, so the camera won't see them.

I apologize for the length, I'm not one to beat around the bushes much and if I even wanted to, I have limited vocabulary.

As for the title, I really wanted something close to Touge no Densetsu. I can add Shutokou Battle but then the title would be long like Kaido Battle Touge no Densetsu and I don't own that game so I can't go around slapping it to my story.

Thanks for the feedback!
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Benovelence
Posted: Feb 17 2013, 09:03 PM
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did i just saw a white and orange striped S15 passing through?

haha nice chapter btw..just like Kuroi said,abit on the short side but i'll let it slide because me likes Kuroi-san..
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RollingGuy
Posted: Feb 17 2013, 11:34 PM
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I really tried to lengthen the next chapters. Only got to 1k plus words. *sighs* Anyway, battle scene. It's pretty short. Like I said, I really need help with those.

- - -

December 19, 20XX - Same time
C1 Circular Loop, Shiodome section - CW

Three blurs were seen on the deserted circular route. Their tail lights leaving eerie glows as the roars of their engines echoed in the night. Tires squealed, trying to retain some form of control. To the spectators, this was a common occurrence. Paid it little mind if only because of one racer that was in it.

Melancholy Angel. She took Thirteen Devils by a storm, and at the same time the whole shutokou scene. Rising through the ranks after her previous defeats to some talented newcomers. Only to vanish completely after she had lost one more time in the mountain pass.

Leading the pack was her in a white 2001 Nissan Silvia Spec R with streaks of red accenting it's curves, long gone has the stock look that it had on years before. It was now a monster machine.

Sporting the same Vertex LanG kit that the infamous S15 from the touge. It had on with a massive time attack wing attached to its trunk. The AVS Model T6's to further pay homage to the mysterious Silvia guarding the mountains.

It also had on a completely one off suspension setup to handle the twists and turns of the inner circular route. Body rigidity has been applied to avoid the distortion. Stripped interior for less weight and last but certainly not the least, an RB26 twin turbo reworked and rebuilt specifically for the C1, pumping 600 horse power.

Its engine roared as the heavily modified RB26 revved, downshifting to take a sharp left connecting to Shiodome, it’s loud turbo whining and whistling.

Following it was a silver 1999 Toyota Aristo looking even more menacing than the car before. Its blood red headlights illuminating the road ahead, with a widened body, canards, huge diffusers, and a massive rear wing, it looked like a professional track car. The 2JZ was a monster as well, giving out around 700 horses. It was still a heavyweight and hence, the car was sure to be very hard to control.

It was Blood Hound, another ex-member of the Thirteen Devils. After the disbanding of the team, several members had joined bosozoku's. With his rough driving style and his aggressiveness, it wasn't a surprise to the others he was the first one to join a racing gang.

Drifting around the corner, the engine howled like mad as the Aristo hit the Silvia's rear bumper causing it to lose its grip momentarily and force it to slide as well. Seeing the opportunity, Blood Hound took it greedily as he floored the gas and overtook the leading car.

All of this was seen from behind by a third car. A yellow 2003 Mazda RX8. With Mazdaspeed kits and a modest GT wing, it was the most normal looking car out of the three aside from the graphics that adorned it. At the same time it was also the most underpowered among them with only 400 horse power. However, this car was not a part of this battle. It was merely spectating the race that was going on.

It was Mitsue Hayashibara, also known as Midnight Cinderella. She’s Setsuko's best friend and also one of the original members of the Thirteen Devils. She had felt weird after her friend arrived at the parking area. She wanted to stop her but knew her pleas would fall on deaf ears. So instead, she had opted to spectate the race by following the two. She was now regretting she had not tried to stop her friend at the least as the race became rougher and rougher, hoping for the best that the race came to a close sooner.

Having been hit so unexpectedly, it took a bit longer for Setsuko to recover from the impromptu drift, tapping the wall along the way, leaving a nasty reminder on her rear bumper.

"Shit..", she cursed as she switched gears to accelerate and catch up to Blood Hound, her exhaust igniting flames as she did so and a familiar whistle from the blow off valve signifying the loss of pressure before spooling up again as she hit on the gas.

After a bit, she knew the Aristo would leave her in the dust on straight sections and no doubt Blood Hound was going to block her every move on the corners. She really had no choice but to give him a taste of his own medicine.

Approaching the chicane, she followed after the leading car and matched his line during the first corner, purposely braking late to lessen the distance between them. On the succeeding turn, she pressed on the accelerator and bumped the Aristo, causing it to slide unlike her a few seconds ago.

"This b*tch!", Blood Hound swore as he struggled to control his car, once again, giving the lead to Setsuko.

This did not go unnoticed to Mitsue and led to her being surprised as Setsuko was normally very calm and relaxed during her battles. It did nothing but worry her more about her friend's unnatural behavior tonight.

Having regained some grip, he noticed that the gap was now much wider. In fact, even the third car was catching up to him. "You think you're still hot shit now!?", he screamed as he pushed his car, infuriated by Setsuko’s action. It’s engine echoing through the tunnels as he drifted through the chicane. With it’s massive power, it slowly closes the gap even with his driving style.

Hearing the roar of the 2JZ getting closer and closer, Setsuko took a glance at her rear view mirror, noticing that nothing she tried to do have shaken off her pursuer. 'Wait, he’s closing the gap!?', she screamed in her mind. Panic flooding her veins. 'Okay, forget that. Calm down..', she turned the mirror away as to not get distracted before taker her eyes back to the road.

The Aristo tried bumping the Silvia’s rear again as they sped through the straightway before the Silvia braked early for the tight chicanes, causing the Aristo to swerve. It slid too much during the corners so the Silvia slipped back to its leading position, aggravating Blood Hound even further.

"A gentle left before the divider.. Then the slope with the divider.", Setsuko mumbled. Exhaling as she steeled herself for the dangerous jumping drift she was sure to happen. She carefully applied the brakes trying to lessen the insane speed they were going at and took the turn. The Aristo followed suit but took the outside as they approached the slope. Meanwhile, Mitsue had this dreaded feeling again. As soon as she noticed the Aristo not bothering to slowing down, everything went slow. "SETSUKO!", she cried.

As the Silvia entered the turn, just before the divider, Blood Hound rammed the side of it causing it to T-bone into the Silvia, lifting it off the ground and causing it to flip. Having thought that the impact would be enough to slow down the Aristo, it did nothing to attempt stopping itself.

Realizing his mistake after the car showed no sign of slowing down, Blood Hound quickly yanked the e-brakes to avoid the coming divider, spinning violently after it had landed just before crashing its side to the outer wall, completely ripping off the carbon fiber body kit while the Silvia, launched in midair, slammed into the divider with a sickening crunch.

Immediately, Mitsue stopped her car and ran after the crumpled remains of the car only to witness the gruesome sight. After flipping, the car was pinned to the divider on its roof. The car even bending as blood flowed out of the smashed windows signifying what had happened to the driver. She was sure by then that there was no way Setsuko would live through that.

Slumping to her knees, she started to mourn over her lost friend. Seeing the death he had caused, Blood Hound had made a run for it despite his car's condition making Mitsue sneer at his retreating form. She had thought of reporting to the police but she was sure that it would not be easy to track that racer just before another thought passed through her mind. ‘What will happen to Reiko..’ With that last thought, she parked her car properly and waited for the emergency crew to arrive, silently saying her teary good byes to her best friend.

-END CHAPTER-

This post has been edited by RollingGuy on Feb 17 2013, 11:35 PM
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Benovelence
Posted: Feb 17 2013, 11:55 PM
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I did not expect that...btw good chapter...

As the smell of death filled the air..
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クロイ
Posted: Feb 18 2013, 12:16 AM
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Ouch...just the first battle and there's already death? Talk about depression.

...of course, coming from a writer that has multiple death scenes...that may sound weird. laugh.gif

This post has been edited by クロイ on Feb 18 2013, 12:16 AM
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Benovelence
Posted: Feb 18 2013, 12:20 AM
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QUOTE (クロイ @ 4 minutes, 7 seconds ago)
Ouch...just the first battle and there's already death? Talk about depression.

...of course, coming from a writer that has multiple death scenes...that may sound weird. laugh.gif

you dont say...

anyways..ETA on next chapter?
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クロイ
Posted: Feb 18 2013, 12:26 AM
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Maybe a day or two if things goes smoothly. But I cannot promise anything, that's for sure.
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Antares
Posted: Feb 18 2013, 02:24 AM
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What a tragic chapter, I wish we could've gotten more out of Dejected Angel though, but I can somewhat imagine the story revolving around Midnight Cinderella being the prime witness to the accident. That's just my imagination though and who knows what could happen? biggrin.gif

Really looking forward to the next chapter.
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RollingGuy
Posted: Feb 18 2013, 02:50 AM
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Glad everyone's enjoying it so far! I'll start working on the next chapters and hopefully release one by the end of this week.

It's good that some thought Setsuko was the protagonist of the story. It means I can lead you on some twists and turns even if it's just a bit.

This post has been edited by RollingGuy on Feb 18 2013, 02:53 AM
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