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> Inazuma no Tenshi (The Lightning Angel), A spin-off story from Gunma34's story.
Paladinoras
Posted: Jul 14 2009, 05:16 AM
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Chapter 1
Angel Down

Note: This takes place before he meets Daiki in Gunma's story, few years before.

Wangan, Tokyo, Japan
23:38 PM

"Tsch, too slow" Raymond yelled as he gunned his stock Porsche 911 down the long Wangan straight.

In front of him, a full-tuned green R32 was speeding up as well, leaving Raymond further and further behind.

"Damn, why can't I catch up" he muttered to himself.

Yet, Raymond's pride would not allow him to give up that easily.. he pressed the accelerator pedal of his Porsche even harder, not caring about the machine's limits.

Slowly, but surely, his Porsche caught up with the leading R32. Using it's slipstream, the Porsche steadily gained more speed. Eventually, the Porsche became neck and neck with the R32.

However.. right when Raymond is about to pass the R32, the Porsche's engine gave up on him, exploding with a dull thud, and pillows of smoke came out from under the hood of his car.

"DAMN!" Raymond yelled loudly, forced to pull over on the Wangan straight.

Naturally, the R32 went on, leaving Raymond alone on the side of the Wangan street.

"Stupid slow car... I thought Porsche's were supposed to be invincible... Yet, it gets defeated by a Japanese car.... How dissapointing" Raymond thought to himself.
He lifted the hood of his Porsche. Horrendous amounts of smoke came out from the overheated engine.

"Damn...I am gonna need a cab. My dad is gonna kill me.."

NEXT DAY, Wangan, 22:30 PM

"Yeah, yeah, dad, I get it, I won't butcher the car today"
"I swear, Raymond, that Porsche was one of the best cars I ever had.. And you obliterated it. Parts of those cars are hard to come by, you know?"
"Fine, fine, sorry, I'll use one of the Japanese cars then..."

That conversation repeated itself on Raymond's head as he drove down the Wangan Straight with one of the Japanese cars he found on his dad's extensive garage, the Toyota Supra RZ, the JZA80 version. As far as he was concerned, the car was stock, slow, and crappy.

"Damn it, I have to use this useless car... Japanese cars can never defeat European ones..There is no grace...no speed. Tsch.. " Raymond thought to himself.

Suddenly, headlights flashed from behind him.. The universal sign for "Let's race"

"Fine..Let's see what this car can do." Raymond said.

He pressed down hard on the accelerator, and the engine of his Supra roared into life, propelling the car forward, easily breaking the 200km/h mark.

"Not bad, I suppose, but the Porsche is faster.." Raymond thought.

The car behind him, a white R33, followed suit, and the race began. Raymond's stock Supra was no match for the tuned R33, and he was quickly left behind. Even Raymond realized that it is hopeless..and he stopped on the side of the street.

"Damn Japanese car... Wait till I get my European babies back... I'll show you stupid Wangan racers how it is done.." Raymond thought out loudly, fire burning in his eyes.

This post has been edited by Paladinoras on Jul 15 2009, 03:31 AM
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Gunma's 34
Posted: Jul 14 2009, 06:30 AM
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Quite a good start there. Well, it is true... racing stories such as this start out in two ways...
  • The lead character is invincible and is either partly known or not known at all until they defeat current legends/ racing figures that intrigued the rest of the community, thus their story began... OR
  • The lead character experiences tremendous amounts of defeat and goes soul searching for the perfect car/home course/tune/etc. that helps him develop in his street progress where they later on climb up the ranks, thus their story began...

So first off is his Porsche 911 (that's definitely a 996 chassis as the 997 appears at around 2006, etc. etc. < time frame of SLAC is at 2K4. I wonder when is your time frame) which failed... carrera or turbo? Probably a Carrera 4S or S considering the situation. correct me if I am wrong...
Then a stock JZA80 which fails too...

What would be his decision on this...? How will he progress? Hmm?
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Paladinoras
Posted: Jul 14 2009, 10:16 PM
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QUOTE (Gunma's 34 @ Today, 6:30 AM)
Quite a good start there. Well, it is true... racing stories such as this start out in two ways...

  • The lead character is invincible and is either partly known or not known at all until they defeat current legends/ racing figures that intrigued the rest of the community, thus their story began... OR
  • The lead character experiences tremendous amounts of defeat and goes soul searching for the perfect car/home course/tune/etc. that helps him develop in his street progress where they later on climb up the ranks, thus their story began...
So first off is his Porsche 911 (that's definitely a 996 chassis as the 997 appears at around 2006, etc. etc. < time frame of SLAC is at 2K4. I wonder when is your time frame) which failed... carrera or turbo? Probably a Carrera 4S or S considering the situation. correct me if I am wrong...
Then a stock JZA80 which fails too...

What would be his decision on this...? How will he progress? Hmm?

Hmm, thanks, but I feel that it sounds too forced.. I need to make it flow more.

Lol, I think he will be the second one, going from hating Japanese cars to loving it. And slowly increasing his skill level..and racing style. And of course, loving the colour white. Hahaha

And now..NEW CHAPTER!


[ Post merged on Jul 15 2009, 03:21 AM ]
Note: This is an insight to Raymond's life, instead of the usual racing story. Pretty long, so boredom might ensue. Hahaha

Chapter 2
The Prancing Horse on Summer

11th June 2002
Shinjuku District, Tokyo
08:00 AM

‘BEEP, BEEP, BEEP’ An alarm clock rang loudly across Raymond’s room.
“Ugh, frigging thing” Raymond muttered, as his hand moved around his nightstand, trying to find his alarm, scrambling to find the snooze button. By the time he found the snooze button and shut the alarm off, he already lost all the will to sleep. He slowly got up and rubbed his eyes lazily. He got out of bed and headed for the door, trying to go to the bathroom.

Suddenly, the door opened forcefully and a figure came running towards him, hugging him tightly. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ONII-CHAN!!!” The figure screamed. “Ca-can’t breathe” Raymond managed to utter, despite the immense pressure on his lungs.
“Oh, oops, sorry, Nii-san” The figure quickly released him from her iron grip, and stood in front of him, grinning mischieviously. “Ooof, don’t you think you are a little too old for this, Yui? Being 16 and all..” Raymond said, in a somewhat annoyed voice. “Ahahaha, I am never too old to say happy birthday to my dearest Nii-san” the figure replied.

The figure was none other than Raymond’s younger sister, Yui Yamazaki. Unlike Raymond, who has mixed traits from both of her parents, with blonde hair, Japanese good looks, and blue eyes, Yui looks naturally Japanese, looking very much like her mother. She also inherited her mother’s beautiful looks, and now, at age 16, that trait is showing clearly. Raymond is a protective brother, and he had lost count of how many suitors to her baby sister he turned away, not thinking that any of them is worthy.

“Fine, fine, thanks anyway” Raymond relented, and walked down to the dining room of the large penthouse he and his family lives in, his sister following him. His dad, 48-year old Tom Patterson, was sitting down on the breakfast table, munching on a piece of toast as he read the newspaper, while his mother, 43-year old Hitomi Yamazaki, was working at the kitchen. Raymond had always thought that it was weird that his dad wanted his kids to take his wife’s last name, but he wanted his kids to fit in Japan, so it was only natural that they have Japanese names. Well, partially for Raymond, at least, Tom was adamant in giving his son a Western name.

Tom looked up from his newspaper and smiled. “Happy Birthday, son” he said. “Thanks, Dad, I appreciate it” Raymond replied. “Ahh, Raymond, happy birthday as well, you are 19 this year, right?” his mother said, while kissing him on the cheeks. “Yeah, mom, 19 this year… one more till I am legal!” Raymond said. Hitomi laughed and put a few pancakes on his plate.

“So…Nii-san, do you want your birthday present now, or later?” Yui asked, in a cutesy voice. “Hmm? I did not really think about it. Well, anytime is fine by me” Raymond replied. “GREAT!” Yui yelled, and ran back up to her room, coming back with a finely wrapped box. “Open it, open it, open it, Nii-san” Yui said, excitedly jumping around. “Okay, okay” Raymond said, while chewing on a pancake. He took the box and carefully opened it, not wanting to destroy the ribbons and other decorations. Inside the box….was a incredibly thick book, titled The Art of Modification, describing all of the intricacies and ways to modify all types of cars. “WOW, SUGOI!!! THANK YOU, YUI!” Raymond exclaimed, genuinely happy. “No problem, Nii-san” Yui smiled, happy to see that his present is appreciated.

“Ahaha, you know your brother well, Yui, well then, I guess now…” Tom took out a small box from his pocket. “You need a car to apply the stuff in that book” he continued. Raymond opened the box. Inside was a car key, with the unmistakable logo of the Prancing Horse on the key. In other words, they keys to a Ferrari. Raymond nearly fainted. “OH GOD, A FERRARI?!! THANKS, DAD, BIG TIME!!” Raymond yelled. He also hugged him tightly, in an outburst of happiness. He also did not neglect hugging his sister tightly. Right when he was about to leave the room though, his mom yelled for him to come back. “I trust you did not forget about my present, dear?” she said, as she handed him a small, rectangular box. Inside was a simple silver necklace, with the Japanese character for speed there. “Wow, mom, you know me so well..” Raymond uttered, amazed. He hugged her as well, then dashed for the garage, his main destination.


This post has been edited by Paladinoras on Jul 15 2009, 03:29 AM
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Gunma's 34
Posted: Jul 15 2009, 05:52 AM
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Aww... that's so sweet of his parents. Personally, though... I think a Ferrari is too much of a present. Well, that's just me, and besides... in this story, He is super rich so I am speechless at this point.

What Ferrari would that be?



carry on then with the next Update.

Wait... since Raymond might be coming back on the story, mind if I borrow his little sister too?
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outlaw-2
Posted: Jul 15 2009, 07:04 AM
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I have a quick read through the 2 chapters, and well, there are some things you might want to be careful about.

- Being in Japan, foreign cars like Ferrari and Porsche are hard to come by, especially when they are imported into the country. This means that a lot of money is being poured in just to get the car.

- You might also want to tell the readers how financially sound the characters are. I was being a bit skeptical when Raymond first wrecked the Porsche, then borrowed his father's Toyota Supra, and then getting a Ferrari on his 19th birthday. In my opinion, it does feel a bit... over the top, if you understand what I mean.

- For his family, I can only seem to visualise Raymond's sister, while I can't get a feeling on how the rest look. You could do a bit of describing how each character's look like.

-If there's one thing I admit of one similarity comparing my story (Racer 666: Shutokou Wars), and yours... well, my first few chapters were cheesy as well. Haha
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Gunma's 34
Posted: Jul 15 2009, 07:17 AM
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Try seeing mine as well, Outlaw-2. And Ferraris do seem over the top unless it is like in the original Wangan Midnight story where a ferrari is evident too...

Oh, and Paladinoras, I don't think the chapter is boring as you say it is. There should be a balance between a battle and the lives of your characters.
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RIT_ninja
Posted: Jul 15 2009, 08:29 PM
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QUOTE (outlaw-2 @ Today, 7:04 AM)
I have a quick read through the 2 chapters, and well, there are some things you might want to be careful about.

- Being in Japan, foreign cars like Ferrari and Porsche are hard to come by, especially when they are imported into the country. This means that a lot of money is being poured in just to get the car.

- You might also want to tell the readers how financially sound the characters are. I was being a bit skeptical when Raymond first wrecked the Porsche, then borrowed his father's Toyota Supra, and then getting a Ferrari on his 19th birthday. In my opinion, it does feel a bit... over the top, if you understand what I mean.

- For his family, I can only seem to visualise Raymond's sister, while I can't get a feeling on how the rest look. You could do a bit of describing how each character's look like.

-If there's one thing I admit of one similarity comparing my story (Racer 666: Shutokou Wars), and yours... well, my first few chapters were cheesy as well. Haha

I agree with outlaw-2, though I have my opinion to share

It's a great story to emphasize how exotics can influence upon Shutoku
Because your character seem very rich, perhaps you need to fill in on his personal background because he's obviously no average Jap
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Paladinoras
Posted: Jul 16 2009, 05:47 AM
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QUOTE (Gunma's 34 @ Yesterday, 5:52 AM)
Aww... that's so sweet of his parents. Personally, though... I think a Ferrari is too much of a present. Well, that's just me, and besides... in this story, He is super rich so I am speechless at this point.

What Ferrari would that be?



carry on then with the next Update.

Wait... since Raymond might be coming back on the story, mind if I borrow his little sister too?

Lolz, yeah, go ahead, borrow his sister. That sounds a bit creepy. Hahaha

And everyone, thanks for the feedback. Will take it into consideration.

Well, yeah, i was gonna talk about the parents more, but i feared that the chapter might be too long, so I cut parts of it.

Ahh, yeah, I need to talk about their financial state more, yeah, well, I thought that saying that they live in a large penthouse, and his father having his own personal parking lot is good enough, but ok, I already have a background for him, again, I didn't want to make the chapter too long.

Oh, and RIT_Ninja, he likes exotics yeah, but *spoilers* he won't be using them for the whole story... haha, pretty obvious, considering he uses an R34 in Gunma 34's story, but yeah, it will be a life-changing moment for him before he changes.
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kirashin
Posted: Jul 19 2009, 08:04 AM
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amazing...speechless...19 th bday..he gets a ferrari...if on my 19th bday i get a skyline..i would be..realli stun..for 2 days..haha..ah well..look like this is gonna be one hell of a ride huh...
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RIT_ninja
Posted: Jul 19 2009, 08:57 AM
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if u plan on having ur character living in a large estate, you should try 1 of 2 things

1. have their place located in the outskirts of Tokyo

2. his dad had the power to tear down several buildings in tokyo to make their territory

just some of my suggestions. depends on what you want to be in the element of your story, realistic or fantasized
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Benovelence
Posted: Jul 20 2009, 01:59 AM
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damn man...he's filthy rich.....
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Paladinoras
Posted: Jul 20 2009, 07:49 PM
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Well, a large penthouse in Shinjuku does cost a lot of money, cause the Shinjuku district is sort of the high-class area of Tokyo, if I am not mistaken, where all the government officials live in, so I decided to put them there. Sides, it is too troublesome to put them in a rural estate, cause Raymond is practical, and he prefers a place where he can go to Wangan fast.
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Paladinoras
Posted: Jul 28 2009, 07:17 AM
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Sorry for the long wait..Was busy.

Chapter 3
The Angel Horse

Raymond dashed to the garage. The apartment he lived in had reserved a substantial amount of parking space to accommodate the many cars that his dad owns. Raymond weaved through all of the cars present in the garage, looking for his new car. Despite his father’s love for cars, and although Tom can certainly purchase tons of Ferraris, he only has two Ferraris, including the one for Raymond, a yellow F355 and a…

“OH MY GOD!!” Raymond exclaimed.

Parked in front of him, a ribbon tied around the car, is none other than a 550 Maranello, white in colour.

“Amazing….” Raymond thought out loud, his eyes fixated on the white car in front of him. The car was beautiful to Raymond, a piece of art. He ran his fingers from the hood of the car to the trunk of the car, slowly admiring the car. He took out the car keys, and went inside the car, popping the hood. He lifted the hood…and there it is. The famed engine of the Ferrari lay naked in front of him. The Naturally Aspirated V12 Engine, the dual overhead cams…Raymond took in all of it. It was pure bliss.

“Enjoying it, son?” Tom’s booming voice came from the doorway of the garage. He came over and patted his son on his back. “Wow, Dad…I don’t know what to say…It is beautiful..” Raymond replied, his voice stuttering a bit. “Ahahaha, well, you better be happy, I had to pull some strings to get this car here without sacrificing the food on our table.” Tom said. Raymond nodded silently, still in awe of the car parked in front of him.

“Well now, what do you say we take it out for a spin?” Tom said, climbing into the driver’s seat, and turning on the car engine. Tom’s tall, muscular frame fitted nicely to the interior of the car, although he looked awkward in it, being used to getting driven, instead of driving.

“Uhh, sure, I guess…” Raymond muttered, while closing the hood of the car. He then climbed into the passenger’s seat, a seat he is not usually found in. Tom turned the ignition on, and the car engine roared to life. “Can you hear that, Ray? Hear the sound of that V12 Engine!!” Tom said excitedly. Raymond could not reply, all of his attention taken by the engine of the Ferrari.

“Let’s go then..” Tom said, and pressed on the accelerator of the car. The powerful engine of the Ferrari propelled it forward, heading for the exit of the garage. Being a Monday morning, the roads of Shinjuku were crowded as usual. However, as soon as the car reached the Bayside Route Highway, also known as the Wangan route, Tom pressed down on the accelerator. “WOOHOO!!!!” he yelled, as the Ferrari’s engine roared into life. Within seconds, the Ferrari had reached the speed of 180 km/h. Looking at Tom now, no one can possibly tell that he was the owner of an international corporation responsible for the production of 20% of all car parts being used around the world. Tom is a daredevil at heart, and that trait is obviously being exhibited on the long Wangan straight.

“Uhhh, Dad…” Raymond uttered. Tom did not listen looking like he is in a hypnotized trance…or maybe, he could not listen, as he pressed on the accelerator even harder. Soon, the Ferrari reached 200 km/h, 220 km/h, 240 km/h… “DAD!!!” Raymond yelled, breaking him out of his trance. “Wha—Oh, damn!” Tom yelled, as he saw two trucks directly in front of him. He pressed on the brakes, hard….

Meanwhile, back at Raymond’s penthouse, at the kitchen

“Hmm, I have a strange feeling that your dad is umm…relieving his stress right now..” Hitomi said. “Hmm, how could you possibly know that, Mom?” Yui replied. “Ahh, Yui, you will understand once you get a husband of your own” Hitomi said mysteriously. “Whaaaaa, that is not an explanation!” Yui exclaimed. Hitomi laughed, smiling at her daughter’s reaction. “Well, Yui, one of the advantages of having a husband like your father is that I don’t have to worry about him getting too stressed and exploding, he lets it all out rather easily” Hitomi said, while smiling. Yui pondered over that statement. Certainly, looking at her mother’s nearly flawless skin, with almost no wrinkles, it is pretty obvious that she lives a stress-free life. Her dad isn’t so bad, either, being 48, but his skin having the lustre of a man much younger, and his blonde hair is still…well, blonde, no white hair has sprouted out to her knowledge. “Hmm, my parents are pretty weird…” Yui thought to herself.

Back at Wangan…

“Ahahaha, I was a little crazy just now, wasn’t I?” Tom said, while smoking on his cigarette. “Uhh, yeah...pretty much” Raymond replied, laughing a little. It is obvious where Raymond gets his racing genes from. Tom had braked hard, evading the two trucks in front of him, and drifted from the gap between the truck on the left and the walls of Wangan to escape the potential crash, and quickly parked on the side after that, taking a smoke.

“Well, son, it goes without saying…Don’t drive like me later at night.” Tom said to Raymond. “Ahaha, yes, don’t worry, father, I will be fine..” Raymond replied. Tom suddenly turned around and looked at Raymond directly in the eyes.

“I know what you have been up to on the Wangan strip at night, Ray…and I am certainly not pleased with it…But I realize that this is your calling. So far, I have allowed you to race freely, and even gave you the means to do so. But this is a very fast car, Raymond. If you break it, I can afford more Ferraris…but if you die crashing it, no amount of money can bring you back. So…no crazy stuff, alrite?” Tom gave a long lecture.

“Yes, Dad, I completely understand. Don’t worry…I love this car too much.” Raymond replied, grinning all the way. ‘But I guess you will have to wait till tonight to find out, Dad’ Raymond thought to himself.


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Paladinoras
Posted: Aug 22 2009, 03:36 AM
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Sorry for the long wait. I was busy.

Chapter 4
The Prancing Stallion

Shinjuku District, Tokyo, 13 00 PM

The white Ferrari 550 Maranello moved along the streets of Shinjuku, drawing the attention of every single commuter of the streets. Exotics are hard to come by in Japan, and most of the onlookers had never seen a Ferrari before. They have heard of it, sure, who hadn’t? The Prancing Horse logo is as recognizable a logo as the Mercedes Three Pointed Star, or the Three Diamonds of the Mitsubishi Corporation, yet no one had actually seen it in real life. And seeing a blond man driving it seems suitable somehow.

Inside the car, Raymond Yamazaki is turning around restlessly in the driver’s seat. Such slow speeds do not suit his explosive personality. But if he wants to take a shot at the Wangan strip later on when night falls, he has no choice but to go to his current destination. Turning around a corner, he saw it, the only thing that Raymond probably treasures as much as his cars.

His tuning shop.

Raymond parked the car inside the bustling shop. His tuning shop is considered a rising star in the automotive industry, tuning more than 50 cars monthly, of different origins and types. The name of the tuning shop suits Raymond’s personality almost perfectly, Speed Addiction. Or SpeedAdd among its customers, and the moniker suited his shop. Any car that enters his shop will come out faster, stronger, and better. Because of conditions from his father, who provided the money needed to start the shop, Raymond has to, grudgingly, put safety first in tuning his cars.

“Yoo, boss, a new car? Wait…is this…a FERRARI???” a voice exclaimed as Raymond stepped out from his car. The owner of the voice is a 25 year old man, a tall and well-built man who is covered in grease and oil, with the name of Kazuhiko Yamada. He is one of the best mechanics in Raymond’s tuning house, and Raymond personally trusts him with the tuning of HIS cars, and this time is no different.

“Ever seen one of these?” Raymond asked him. “Hahahaha, you are joking, right, boss? Heard of it, but this is a first for me.” Kazuhiko replied. “Heh, good then, Kazu, today you get to tune one, I trust it will be up to your usual standards?” Raymond said.
“I doubt that any other standards would please you, boss” Kazu exclaimed.
“I’m glad you understand. Well then,..” Raymond tossed the keys to his Ferrari to Kazu, who caught it awkwardly “Get to work” Raymond finished.

He went to the back of the building, entering the office section of the tuning shop, and the place is packed full with people paying for their transactions.
“So, a bolt-on turbo kit with Volk TE37 rims for your DC2 Integra, correct? That adds up to 436 thousand yen” a female voice rang out from behind the cashier counter.
The customer, a young executive type man, probably 20ish years old, moaned loudly. “Oh come on, Ayumi-chan, can’t you give me a discount??? That is my paycheck for a month, man!!” he complained to the cashier, a beautiful woman in her 20s with a deceptively easy-going look on her face. “Ahh, Tatsuya-kun, you should have thought about that before you went here! If you want to save money, go buy ramen, not bolt-on turbo kits!” she replied with a smile on her face, sounding cute while saying something that is completely hurtful. “Acckkk, Ayumi-chan….fine..” the man relented and took out his wallet.

“All good, Ayumi?” Raymond yelled out. “No problems here, sir!” Ayumi cheerfully replied. “Alright then, keep up the good work!!” Raymond said. He then walked on to his office, and opened the door. Inside, was a gigantic mess of papers, billing statements, binder files, car posters, and even the occasional half-eaten donut here and there. Raymond looked around his office for a few minutes, scanned it, and proceeded to close the door to his office.

“It will be a cold day in hell before I do any paperwork…” he muttered. He turned around and the face of a beautiful bespectacled woman stared back at him. “Are you sure you want to do that, Raymond-kun?” the woman said to him, in a rather threatening voice. “Ehhh, Chihiro-san, didn’t notice you there..” Raymond said, trailing off at the end. The woman is Chihiro Satonaka, his secretary, and a supervisor of sorts, appointed by Raymond’s father. “You know very well that when you were given this office, you would have to do administrative work as well..” she said calmly. “Well, yeah, but I can’t be bogged down in an office, I am a free spirit, I belong in the ROOOAADDD!!!” Raymond said, while waving his hands around in a dramatic manner, and tried to sidestep Chihiro.

WHOOSH!!! The air was suddenly cut by Chihiro’s arm, moving suddenly to bar Raymond’s path. “Dream on, you are staying here and finishing your job!” Chihiro exclaimed, pouting her lips. “You know, Chihiro-san, you look kinda cute with that face.” Raymond said. “Wha-Wha-What does that have to do with anything?? Flattery will get you nowehere!!” Chihiro replied, but her furiously blushing face betrayed her statement. “Ahaha, I made you blush! I am so good at this” Raymond said while laughing loudly. “D-Don’t be stupid, go in there and do your work!!” Chihiro said to him, getting increasingly angry…and…happy..? “Ahaha, fine, fine, only for you, Chihiro-chaaannnn!!!” Raymond replied in an annoying tone, as he entered his office.

Chihiro returned to her table as well, muttering about how her boss is such a pain. She sits down and sighs, while staring at the door to Raymond’s office. “He is so freakishly immature…” she thought to herself. “But…he is a nice kid..maybe..one day…I could date..” “Chihirrooo-chaaann, mind if you buy me ramen???” Raymond’s head suddenly popped out of his office and spoke, going back in a second later. “WAAA!!!” Chihiro exclaimed in surprise, very nearly falling from her chair. “Urrghh, what was I thinking back then?! I am two years older than that immature jerk, and his subordinate… Plus…he would never go for me.” she thought again, and stood up, walking to order ramen…


P.S. Sorry for the rather slice of life chapters so far. Chapter 5 will definitely have shutokou racing involved!!!

P.P.S Any feedback will be appreciated. Hahahah
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GTI-R34
Posted: Aug 24 2009, 04:18 AM
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so far , so good. I like it

keep it up
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Paladinoras
Posted: Aug 24 2009, 05:59 AM
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QUOTE (GTI-R34 @ 1 hour, 41 minutes ago)
so far , so good. I like it

keep it up

Thank you, I needed that. Hahaha


[ Post merged on Aug 24 2009, 08:34 PM ]
Chapter 5
Return to Action

Speed Addiction Tuning House, Shinjuku District, 18 30 PM

“This should do it..” Raymond muttered to himself as he stacked the last binder file on top of an incredibly tall and wobbly tower of binder files. He looked around his somewhat clean office, which has all of his paperwork arranged…although rather hastily and uncaringly. “I can finally see my computer again!!” Raymond said as he sat down on the singular chair at his office. He did not like having guests at his office, he preferred meeting his business associates on the garage section of his tuning house.

“Well, then, off to Wangan..” Raymond thought to himself, as he stood up and walked out of his office. “Kazu better be done with the mods, I can’t wait to drive it down the Wangan strip any longer..” Raymond thought, increasing his walking speed to reach the garage faster.

“I trust you are finished with all of your work…” Chihiro’s voice suddenly emanated from behind Raymond. “Of course, I told you, anything for you, Chihiro-chaannnn” Raymond yelled as he ran from the office, waving his hand goodbye to his secretary. “Some boss I have..” Chihiro sighed, and went inside his office to pick up the bowl of unfinished ramen he left behind. “Typical, I swear, I think he is 5 sometimes..” Chihiro muttered as he walked out and locked his office door.

“KAZUUUU!!!” Raymond exclaimed as he came dashing into the garage section of his tuning house. “Oh, boss, I am not really done with the car, the rollcage is still..” Kazuhiko never finished that sentence, as Raymond snatched the keys away from his outstretched hand and jumped inside his white Ferrari. He inserted his keys to the ignition and started the car. The sound of the engine was noticeably different than when it first came in the shop.

“Dammmnnn, I am loving this sound…What did you do to it, Kazu? Give me the short version” Raymond said excitedly. “Uhh, with the short time you have given me, I have changed the bonnet of the car into a carbon version, painted of course, cause we all know how you hate the original carbon colour of those hoods, and I did a small NA upgrade of the machine, Bored and Stroked the car, balanced the engines, optimized the ECU of the Engine, and added new suspensions to make it more stiff.” Kazu replied, answering hurriedly. “Awesomee, so did you do a dyno of the car?” Raymond asked. “Ehh, yeah, the power output of the car is now 640 HP at 7300 rpm, and a top speed of approximately 312 km/h, but with the rollcage not yet installed, I don’t suggest that..” Kazu’s words were cut short by the Ferrari, which roared into life as it dashed out of the garage into the Wangan strip. “you go past 290 km/h, cause you might lose control” Kazu finished, with no one listening.

Raymond quickly drove his car to the Wangan Strip. At 7 o’ clock in the night, the Wangan Strip is still filled with ordinary commuters, moving about with their mundane lives in their slow cars. Raymond feels restless.. He wants to go fast, but he knows that he cannot harm anyone at the Wangan strip. It is one of the principles he made when he decided he would street race, he would not cause any harm to civilians in the process. However…with the explosive power lying under the hood of his Ferrari, driving at speeds below 200 km/h is becoming increasingly difficult.

Raymond tapped his fingers repeatedly on the steering wheel of his Ferrari. Shifting is effortless now, Kazu must have changed the clutch and flywheel of his car as well. But…being stuck on 4th gear is killing Raymond inside, who wants nothing more but to press on the accelerator hard and gun the Ferrari down the Wangan strip. He reached the Kawasakiukishima junction and kept on going straight, heading for the Haneda airport. “Hmph, nice view, but much good it will do to me..” Raymond thought, as the spectacular Tokyo shoreline greeted his vision. As he kept on going, suddenly, lights flashed from behind him. “YES, FINALLY!!!!” Raymond thought out loud, as the car behind him, a black R32, with a Nismo S-Tune body kit, flashed his headlights repeatedly, wanting a race badly with the rare exotic in front of him.

“Bring it on, bakayaro..” Raymond muttered under his breath, as he pressed down on the accelerator pedal of his Ferrari hard. The dormant engine of the V12 beast roared into life instantly, propelling his white 550 Maranello to speeds of 250 km/h..and rising…fast. The black R32 tried to keep up, desperately, but to no avail. The acceleration and top speed of the barely modified R32 cannot compare to the Ferrari. Within a minute, the R32 disappeared from Raymond’s rear-view mirror. “Hahaha, this is how a Wangan racer should be..EXOTICS RULE!!!” Raymond exclaimed loudly. Another pair of lights flashed from behind him.

“Heh, bring it onnnn” Raymond thought to himself, and revved his Ferrari. His enemy is a JZA80 Supra, white in colour with a TRD decal on the side. The Ferrari dashed forward, at the speed of 275 km/h. The Supra surprisingly managed to keep up with him, managing to stay by the Ferrari’s side. “Impressive…but not for long!!” Raymond yelled out loud, and shifted to the sixth gear, giving the Ferrari a new dimension of power. The car slowed down for a moment, as the rpm of the engine decreased…then roared back into life, increasing the speed of the Ferrari rapidly from 275 km/h to nearly 290km/h. This is where the exotics pull away from the heavily tuned Japanese cars…
Exotics have always been famous for their high top speeds, while Japanese imports are famed for their exquisite handling. Even a heavily tuned Japanese car will have a hard time keeping up with the naturally more powerful exotic and it’s high top speeds, unless if an amazingly good tuner works on the engine. This was not the case for the Supra behind Raymond, which did not undergo substantial modifications to its engine, and therefore, unable to keep up with Raymond’s well-tuned and demonically powerful Ferrari.

By the time Raymond’s Ferrari reaches the speed of 295 km/h, he is already pulling away from the Supra, who could not maintain its high speed any longer, while the Ferrari’s speed is still gradually increasing. “Chalk another one up to Raymond Yamazaki, baby!!” Raymond yelled out loud, happy over his recent victories.

Reaching the Tatsumi Junction, Raymond turned left, heading for the C1 Inner Loop Area. Just as he reached the Edobashi Junction, another car flashed its lights from behind him. The car is foreign to Raymond, who has seen many cars from being at the tuning shop for so many hours. “What kind of car is that..? Judging from shape of the lights… a modified FD? Well, doesn’t really matter… I am gonna smoke him” Raymond thought cockily to himself.

The car behind him is indeed an FD3S, RX-7 R1 type, widebodied, which explains the unusual shape of the RX-7. Inside the car, a young man looked calmly at the Ferrari in front of him, tapping the headlights handle of his car, repeatedly flashing his headlights. “An exotic…this should be interesting.” The man thought to himself. As both cars entered the C1 Inner Loop area, there is nothing else on Kazuhiko Aizawa’s mind but the thought of beating Raymond and his Ferrari. Kazuhiko shifted to fourth gear, and bursts of flames erupted from the RE Amemiya muffler in his FD.

And so the race began…..
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Gunma's 34
Posted: Aug 25 2009, 01:18 AM
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Nice!! What a great introduction to a soon-to-become grueling battle!! I wonder how Aizawa and Raymond would fare off at the C1 Inner loop... Yeah! can't wait for the battle!!
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Paladinoras
Posted: Aug 25 2009, 06:04 AM
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QUOTE (Gunma's 34 @ 4 hours, 46 minutes ago)
Nice!! What a great introduction to a soon-to-become grueling battle!! I wonder how Aizawa and Raymond would fare off at the C1 Inner loop... Yeah! can't wait for the battle!!

Ahaha, thank you.

Yeap, will finish the chapter in three days, give or take. Must make it interesting.
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Paladinoras
Posted: Aug 29 2009, 12:49 AM
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Yes, I said it will be updated in three days, but I have been sick recently, so sorry, might take a little longer.
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R_E_X
Posted: Aug 29 2009, 03:23 AM
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You're on Indonesia also, right? careful with blood fever and cold these days... I can't get sleep enough because the latter and my head has been hurt for these past few days
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Paladinoras
Posted: Aug 30 2009, 10:05 PM
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QUOTE (R_E_X @ Yesterday, 3:23 AM)
You're on Indonesia also, right? careful with blood fever and cold these days... I can't get sleep enough because the latter and my head has been hurt for these past few days

Yeah...same.

Which part of Indo are you from?
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R_E_X
Posted: Aug 30 2009, 10:29 PM
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I'm at west jakarta
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Paladinoras
Posted: Aug 31 2009, 01:23 AM
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QUOTE (R_E_X @ 2 hours, 53 minutes ago)
I'm at west jakarta

Oh, lol, me too man.

I am in the kembangan area.
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R_E_X
Posted: Aug 31 2009, 05:21 AM
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Kembangan is Puri, right? I'm at Cengkareng, near Daan Mogot area...
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Paladinoras
Posted: Aug 31 2009, 09:28 PM
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Ahh, ok, ok.

Yeap, I live in the puri area, didn't know you lived at Cengkareng. Hahaha

Still play MT here?
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